Grief Heals

I really hate grief memoirs.

Why?

Just because you’ve experienced grief does not make you an expert on grief. It only makes you an expert on YOUR grief.

So why are so many people out there peddling products and services to help the grieving with no other credential than their own grief, and unhealed grief at that?

Though sharing the stories is an essential part of the grieving process, the purpose of telling those stories is for personal healing not for the enlightenment or healing of others.

Can those stories sometimes help others? Certainly. This is what happens in support groups all the time. The stories of unhealed grief are mutually shared among group members. It’s powerful stuff and the common threads emerge out of the awareness and respect that each person’s grief is unique.

Therein lies the difference. Stories shared mutually and reciprocally, heal. Personal stories presented as “the answer”, generally don’t.

So where does How to Survive Your Grief fit in? First it can never, ever replace a support group. I recommend support groups all the time, and consider them the single best thing anyone who is grieving can do for themselves.

The book is for people who can’t or won’t attend a support group, and as a supplement for people who do, but How to Survive Your Grief is definitely not about my personal losses because my losses aren’t relevant to your healing.

The stories I share in the book are the stories of the hundreds and hundreds of people I’ve worked with over the years. In aggregate, they tell a story of grief useful to all who are new, and maybe not so new, to grief.

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Tags: grief, grief books, grief counseling, grieving process

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